Right now I am sitting at the computer in our new home. I am looking out of the "picture" window at the Rexburg Temple. It is 6 am. The sun is up. A mist is rising from the river. The birds are singing. Who knew that we would come through the wilderness to this beautiful place? I can never thank Heavenly Father and the Savior enough.
This is the story of how Lyle, Lynette and I entered the wilderness--literally. At about 12 years of age Lynette began to withdraw. From that time on going to school became a struggle for her. By the time she was 16, and became involved in boy issues, it was serious. She was in danger of flunking out of school. I sensed that the food she was eating was contributing somehow to all of this. That was a mother's intuition that was always in the back of my mind. However, her heartbreak over a guy was the biggest contributing factor at this time.
I told Lynette that like the Jaredites who went down in the depths of the sea, she was going under. If she would cry unto the Lord, at some point He would bring her up again. In the meantime, what could she do to have light in the barge? She needed to find ways to solve her problems. She said she didn't think she was smart enough to figure out solutions. I told her she could do that. I was right. She was smart enough to find a solution. The solution she found was Anasazi.
At the end of one extremely difficult day, she looked at me and said, "I need to go away." I sensed that she was totally serious. I said, "Okay. Where to? Anasazi?" She said, "Yes. What's that? I told her it was a wilderness survival course. From that point she felt that was what she needed to do. As we looked into it, she seemed to be holding her breath for fear that we wouldn't be able to let her go or would find some good reason not to go through with it.
For Lyle and I it was a very difficult decision. Young walkers are on the trail for eight weeks. They sleep on the ground under the stars. They have no matches. They learn to "bust a coal" to build fires. They get water from streams and cow tanks. It is really roughing it. One of our hesitations was that she would be with a group of girls that had been in trouble with the law, drug users, etc. She would learn a lot. Would this be harmful? Another problem was that she had been diagnosed with a skin condition that was usually worsened by sunlight. The dermatologist was horrified that we would allow her to go. It was also expensive.
The good things about this plan far outweighed the drawbacks. It gave her a chance to get away which she so wanted to do. It would give her seven high school credits which would replace her bad grades and the class she had just withdrawn from. It would take her out of the traditional school setting and put her in a sunny place in January. The Anasazi program includes counseling on the trail. It is gospel oriented. It would give her time away from all the stresses to think, process, and get to know herself.
As parents, we made the decision to send Lynette to Anasazi because it felt right. Lynette and her well being was worth any expense. She was promised in a blessing that her skin would be all right. (It was.)
I can never describe the depths of my feelings when we left our daughter in Arizona and came back to Idaho without her. We were so far away from our child--unable to help or even to know what was going on. We had to trust Heavenly Father. Although it was the first of many times with Lynette, we had experienced this feeling before when our boys went on missions. Heavenly Father always came through. Fervent prayers were answered. Frequent temple attendance helped me keep peace in my heart. I took comfort in Elder Holland's assurance that angels attend in answer to a mother's prayer.
Lyle and I talked recently about things we learned from the Anasazi experience. When we took Lynette down, we attended a parent's seminar. I took a book's worth of notes. As a matter of fact, there is a book called "Bonds That Make Us Free" by Terry Warner. Another book based on the philosophy that we were introduced to is "The Peacegiver."
A small example from my own life that illustrates some of the principles we were taught there
took place long before Anasazi. I taught the nine year olds in Primary. Sometimes their behavior was a little trying. One Sunday in class I could feel myself getting angry. Somehow the Spirit gave me the quick realization that I had control over how I felt towards them. I was prompted to replace the feelings of anger with feelings of love towards them in the moment that they were misbehaving. It was a lot more effective. Not only did I feel love towards them, but esteem for the great spirits I knew they were. At Anasazi we learned that we could either be responsive or resistant to others--it was up to us.
Lyle and I began to learn that when things need to change--start with yourself. We took Lynette to Anasazi so they could fix her--not realizing that it was us we needed to work on. We kept on learning that over the next ten years.
We began to learn unconditional acceptance of people, including ourselves. (I am what I am.)
We began to learn "Come what may and love it." (It is what it is.) Sometimes there is no way around trials. The way to get to the end of a trial is to go through it. We began to learn that we can't make it through the wilderness experience of life without help. The thread of song, the reprise, that weaves its way through, is "Be Still my Soul."
We share the commonalities of this experience with all parents. As parents we help all we can.
Sometimes there isn't much besides praying that we can do for our children. We are required to sit back and watch children learn. So many times if I could have had my way I would have eliminated the hard experiences that my children went through. If I had been able to do so they never would have learned.
Our Anasazi experience is a metaphor of Heavenly Father's plan for us. He sends us to earth, seemingly far away from him, to learn from experiences that he permits us to have. This opportunity has been bought at infinite cost by our Savior. Without his atonement this couldn't have happened. Stake President, Robert Marcum, says that each one of us will be given every experience we need to bring ourselves back to the Savior. "Oh it is Wonderful..."
Friday, June 10, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
The first post about Sister Beck's visit
I just got back from the new BYUI conference center where I heard General R.S. President, Julie Beck, speak. It was so uplifting. Definitely a repeating passage of the song of redeeming love. Actually, her prepared speech was quite short, only a few minutes. Then she had people come to a microphone on the floor, front and center, and asked questions that she answered by the Spirit. She obviously had prepared well to be a mouthpiece.
The first question was asked by a young girl--how could she get a testimony of Relief Society. Her mother had been trying to help her but it wasn't working. As part of her answer Sister Beck talked about Mary and Martha. She said that as a church we've been really hard on Martha. Later, Martha bears one of the most powerful testimonies of the Savior in scripture. After the Savior called his apostles and seventies, he visited Mary and Martha. Sister Beck pointed out that Martha had invited the Savior into her home which is something we all should do. She was serving the Savior which was good. Essentially when he spoke to Martha, he was inviting both Mary and Martha to be a part of his work and ministry, that they could fill a role that was more than the traditional woman's role at that time. Sister Beck said that the Priesthood and Relief Society are the divine pair. They are the two halves of the Lord's plan. The priesthood holders shouldn't delegate their half to Relief Society. Relief Society shouldn't delegate their half to the Priesthood.
Sister Beck named the three purposes of R.S. The first is to increase our personal faith and righteousness. Second, strengthen home and family. Third, seek out and help those in need. She said if you have the opportunity to go to Relief Society, soak it up. It will help us acquire the strength to lift the rising generation. We live in a difficult time, a refining time, a time when Heavenly Father needs our help. The everlasting gospel will be proclaimed by the weak and simple. I know that describes me. If we will seek the Spirit with humility and faithfulness, we will be blessed with wisdom and power. We will know by direction of the Spirit how to fulfill the three purposed of Relief Society.
If Sister Beck had quit here, it would have been a great talk. There is a lot more which I will soon post.
The first question was asked by a young girl--how could she get a testimony of Relief Society. Her mother had been trying to help her but it wasn't working. As part of her answer Sister Beck talked about Mary and Martha. She said that as a church we've been really hard on Martha. Later, Martha bears one of the most powerful testimonies of the Savior in scripture. After the Savior called his apostles and seventies, he visited Mary and Martha. Sister Beck pointed out that Martha had invited the Savior into her home which is something we all should do. She was serving the Savior which was good. Essentially when he spoke to Martha, he was inviting both Mary and Martha to be a part of his work and ministry, that they could fill a role that was more than the traditional woman's role at that time. Sister Beck said that the Priesthood and Relief Society are the divine pair. They are the two halves of the Lord's plan. The priesthood holders shouldn't delegate their half to Relief Society. Relief Society shouldn't delegate their half to the Priesthood.
Sister Beck named the three purposes of R.S. The first is to increase our personal faith and righteousness. Second, strengthen home and family. Third, seek out and help those in need. She said if you have the opportunity to go to Relief Society, soak it up. It will help us acquire the strength to lift the rising generation. We live in a difficult time, a refining time, a time when Heavenly Father needs our help. The everlasting gospel will be proclaimed by the weak and simple. I know that describes me. If we will seek the Spirit with humility and faithfulness, we will be blessed with wisdom and power. We will know by direction of the Spirit how to fulfill the three purposed of Relief Society.
If Sister Beck had quit here, it would have been a great talk. There is a lot more which I will soon post.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Martin's Cove: Hearing the song again
Sister Tami Erickson told this story just before the Women's Pull at Martin's Cove.
Elizabeth Sermon's recollections
"My husband's health began to fail and his heart almost broke to see me falling in the shafts. Myself and children hungry, almost naked, and himself nearly done for. My oldest boy had mountain fever...I picked him up and put him on my back and drew my cart as well, but could not manage far, so put him in the cart which made 3 children and luggage...
Many cruel and painful things happening, the dying and dear ones all around us...It is a wonder any of us lived through it."
Elizabeth's husband died a short time later. Finally they were rescued and taken to the valley. Her children survived the ordeal although her sons lost limbs from frostbite.
She ended her account by saying, "My faith was in my Heavenly Father. I never lost that faith in Him. It is as sweet today to trust and my prayer is, may I always trust Him. He is a friend that has never failed."
After Tami told this story we did the Women's Pull up a very steep hill. The men lined the sides of the path. They were told they could not help us. It made them very emotional. Lyle said he could hardly stand it. After the first handcarts made it up, the girls turned around and helped the ones behind. Christena Jarrett came down and hauled me up. Then we sang "As Sisters in Zion/Armies of Helaman. Very touching.
Every person walked for an ancestor or other pioneer. We were told that if we listened or were open to it, we would feel their presence or influence. I walked for Hannah Matilda Baldwin (Annie). Annie came from England alone when she was 17. Accounts differ but she may have left home in secrecy. She was part of the first handcart company which reached the valley safely in September 1856. The company was met by Brigham Young and a brass band. According to the DUP account, a young man offered to push Annie's handcart into the valley. She replied firmly, "Oh no, I have pushed it by myself this far and I desire to do so the rest of the way!"
I didn't really feel anything from Annie, my great, great grandmother, while I was at Martin's Cove. I didn't really expect to. So it was unexpected when I did get a message from Annie.
A few days after I got home, I went to Mom and Dad's. Mom had her life story that she was compiling up on the computer. She had just finished through the year 1958. She asked me to read through it. I had a very strong spiritual response as I read about the trials of 1957 and 1958. It gave me some important insights about myself and why I am the person I am today. At the same time I got a message from Annie. That message was "Keep pulling--don't give up. It will be okay."
I sang a song at Martin's Cove with some other women. "Walk the Path of Faith"
You pulled these carts oer rock and through snow
The icy wind blew fierce and cold
With bodies too weak to move ahead
This cove is sheltered and safe.
This thread of song is a reprise of my sewing experience:
And you are encircled about in the arms of His love
He's sending a rescue to bring you in
Walk the path of faith.
It doesn't matter if your trials are caused by this imperfect world or other people, or just because it's life, or because of our own sins, mistakes or weaknesses. As we walk the path of faith, a rescue is operating. I know that relatives on the other side of the veil are helping us. They are part of the rescue effort.
Elizabeth Sermon's recollections
"My husband's health began to fail and his heart almost broke to see me falling in the shafts. Myself and children hungry, almost naked, and himself nearly done for. My oldest boy had mountain fever...I picked him up and put him on my back and drew my cart as well, but could not manage far, so put him in the cart which made 3 children and luggage...
Many cruel and painful things happening, the dying and dear ones all around us...It is a wonder any of us lived through it."
Elizabeth's husband died a short time later. Finally they were rescued and taken to the valley. Her children survived the ordeal although her sons lost limbs from frostbite.
She ended her account by saying, "My faith was in my Heavenly Father. I never lost that faith in Him. It is as sweet today to trust and my prayer is, may I always trust Him. He is a friend that has never failed."
After Tami told this story we did the Women's Pull up a very steep hill. The men lined the sides of the path. They were told they could not help us. It made them very emotional. Lyle said he could hardly stand it. After the first handcarts made it up, the girls turned around and helped the ones behind. Christena Jarrett came down and hauled me up. Then we sang "As Sisters in Zion/Armies of Helaman. Very touching.
Every person walked for an ancestor or other pioneer. We were told that if we listened or were open to it, we would feel their presence or influence. I walked for Hannah Matilda Baldwin (Annie). Annie came from England alone when she was 17. Accounts differ but she may have left home in secrecy. She was part of the first handcart company which reached the valley safely in September 1856. The company was met by Brigham Young and a brass band. According to the DUP account, a young man offered to push Annie's handcart into the valley. She replied firmly, "Oh no, I have pushed it by myself this far and I desire to do so the rest of the way!"
I didn't really feel anything from Annie, my great, great grandmother, while I was at Martin's Cove. I didn't really expect to. So it was unexpected when I did get a message from Annie.
A few days after I got home, I went to Mom and Dad's. Mom had her life story that she was compiling up on the computer. She had just finished through the year 1958. She asked me to read through it. I had a very strong spiritual response as I read about the trials of 1957 and 1958. It gave me some important insights about myself and why I am the person I am today. At the same time I got a message from Annie. That message was "Keep pulling--don't give up. It will be okay."
I sang a song at Martin's Cove with some other women. "Walk the Path of Faith"
You pulled these carts oer rock and through snow
The icy wind blew fierce and cold
With bodies too weak to move ahead
This cove is sheltered and safe.
This thread of song is a reprise of my sewing experience:
And you are encircled about in the arms of His love
He's sending a rescue to bring you in
Walk the path of faith.
It doesn't matter if your trials are caused by this imperfect world or other people, or just because it's life, or because of our own sins, mistakes or weaknesses. As we walk the path of faith, a rescue is operating. I know that relatives on the other side of the veil are helping us. They are part of the rescue effort.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Reprise: Things I have learned in the last dozen years
Reprise is defined as a repeated action, especially a repeated passage of music. As I look back over the last twelve years, how can I keep from singing? How can I keep from singing the song of Redeeming Love?
The purpose of this blog is to revisit things I've learned. I decided a blog is the perfect way to share this sort of thing because people can follow it if they want to but it is not directed at any particular person or group of people. It has a different feel for me than an email would. Maybe because it doesn't need a reply, although comments are welcome.
I was going to begin with the Anasazi experience, when our family went into the wilderness but it really began with Lynette's first date and my wrestle with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Lynette was asked to the Christmas dance, a formal affair. We went shopping for the perfect dress. We found the perfect dress, but it wasn't perfectly modest. We continued looking. After trying on tons of dresses, exhausting all possibilities and patience, we decided to buy the dress. By some wild flight of imagination, I thought I could fix it. How could I know that the beautiful dress was a monster in disguise?
After a few days of thinking about it, I hit upon an idea and went to work. I immediately ran into problems. One problem was that I wasn't seeing so well. The dress was black. Black on black is the worst! Another problem was that the material was slick and difficult to work with. Then my sewing machine started acting up and breaking down. The light bulb also burned out.
The back of the dress was low, so I added a series of fabric strips. Rephrase that. I tried to add a series of fabric strips to raise it. Lynette would put it on. I would pin what I was adding on--I would pin it profusely. After I pinned and pinned, she would take it off and I would sew it exactly where I pinned it. Then when she tried it on again, the strips would not be in the right place. I would pick it out and try again. The dress truly seemed to have a mind of its own. I started calling it the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
By Friday, the day before the dance, I could see that I had a real problem. I started doing some serious praying. Saturday, just before she went on her date, I was still trying to finish the dress. I was pinning and crying when Scott came to my rescue. He helped me pin and pin. I took it off of Lynette and sewed it by hand because by that time my sewing machine wasn't working at all. I sewed it so carefully, then tried it on Lynette. It still didn't work! I took it apart and pinned it one more time. Then Lynette went off on her date. I sewed it one more time. When she came back home to get ready for the dance, she tried it on again and miraculously it worked that time. I admit I kind of sewed her into it. She looked beautiful!
I knew that Heavenly Father had heard my many fervent and frantic prayers. Only with divine intervention was I able to subdue the monster dress. I had a sense that this wrestling match was some sort of allegory of my life. I felt that this experience held a promise for me that if I would pray, have faith and keep trying in trials and struggles, Heavenly Father would bless me to finally overcome. Over and over again that has proven to be true.
The purpose of this blog is to revisit things I've learned. I decided a blog is the perfect way to share this sort of thing because people can follow it if they want to but it is not directed at any particular person or group of people. It has a different feel for me than an email would. Maybe because it doesn't need a reply, although comments are welcome.
I was going to begin with the Anasazi experience, when our family went into the wilderness but it really began with Lynette's first date and my wrestle with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Lynette was asked to the Christmas dance, a formal affair. We went shopping for the perfect dress. We found the perfect dress, but it wasn't perfectly modest. We continued looking. After trying on tons of dresses, exhausting all possibilities and patience, we decided to buy the dress. By some wild flight of imagination, I thought I could fix it. How could I know that the beautiful dress was a monster in disguise?
After a few days of thinking about it, I hit upon an idea and went to work. I immediately ran into problems. One problem was that I wasn't seeing so well. The dress was black. Black on black is the worst! Another problem was that the material was slick and difficult to work with. Then my sewing machine started acting up and breaking down. The light bulb also burned out.
The back of the dress was low, so I added a series of fabric strips. Rephrase that. I tried to add a series of fabric strips to raise it. Lynette would put it on. I would pin what I was adding on--I would pin it profusely. After I pinned and pinned, she would take it off and I would sew it exactly where I pinned it. Then when she tried it on again, the strips would not be in the right place. I would pick it out and try again. The dress truly seemed to have a mind of its own. I started calling it the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
By Friday, the day before the dance, I could see that I had a real problem. I started doing some serious praying. Saturday, just before she went on her date, I was still trying to finish the dress. I was pinning and crying when Scott came to my rescue. He helped me pin and pin. I took it off of Lynette and sewed it by hand because by that time my sewing machine wasn't working at all. I sewed it so carefully, then tried it on Lynette. It still didn't work! I took it apart and pinned it one more time. Then Lynette went off on her date. I sewed it one more time. When she came back home to get ready for the dance, she tried it on again and miraculously it worked that time. I admit I kind of sewed her into it. She looked beautiful!
I knew that Heavenly Father had heard my many fervent and frantic prayers. Only with divine intervention was I able to subdue the monster dress. I had a sense that this wrestling match was some sort of allegory of my life. I felt that this experience held a promise for me that if I would pray, have faith and keep trying in trials and struggles, Heavenly Father would bless me to finally overcome. Over and over again that has proven to be true.
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